The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
This is my life. Enjoy the view
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
