forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
