God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
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