he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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