I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Randomize
