This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
