is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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