A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
