She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize