I'm passing your future prison.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
