9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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