We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
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