Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
vagina is talking i cant
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
