i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
You may now shotgun with the bride
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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