Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
