vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
