yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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