I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
i believe in u and ur pee
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
