if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
