AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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