just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
