quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize