Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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