he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
