I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
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How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
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Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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