her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
