so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Randomize
