So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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