**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Randomize
