My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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