We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
