Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
