The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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