And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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