Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
