I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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