I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Randomize
