So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
