i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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