It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Swine flu. Run for my life!
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Randomize
