Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
