How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
