Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
