u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
And then my night got REAL pukey
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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