I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
