Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
