I feel like abortions should bother me more
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
i now understand why vodka
Randomize