sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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