I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I just found puke in my bra..
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
