he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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