He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
