u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
im about as happy as oj after his trial
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
