I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
