Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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