is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Randomize
