I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Randomize
