P.S. I can't hear my feet
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
So much rum. So many feels.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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