so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
