You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
The struggles of a small town man whore
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
