What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize