Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
