Do you still have your period?
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I want to fling myself into the sun
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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