I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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