He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
