Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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