I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
