OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
