Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
