Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
