do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
