duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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