i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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